


How to Find a Boyfriend.  (Cults Help!)

by BornofFlame



Series: Sanders Sides One Shots [41]
Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Human, Anxiety | Virgil Sanders Has Heterochromia, Cults, M/M, Roman works in a hospital, Virgil Also Has Face Blindness
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-08
Updated: 2020-11-08
Packaged: 2021-03-08 20:48:09
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,225
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27442900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BornofFlame/pseuds/BornofFlame
Summary: Roman gets a job fresh out of nursing school in Silverstone hospital.chaos ensues.
Relationships: Anxiety | Virgil Sanders/Creativity | Roman "Princey" Sanders, Deceit | Janus Sanders/Morality | Patton Sanders
Series: Sanders Sides One Shots [41]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1878814
Comments: 6
Kudos: 76





	How to Find a Boyfriend.  (Cults Help!)

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this with the help of the following AO3 users: AstroZone, PrismicGalaxy, Avacado and a few others on my discord server. You all are so amazing and I love you.  
> Also, yay biden, thank the stars we can finally start making progress.
> 
> enjoy!

Roman stood outside of the hospital, nervously tugging at his scrubs. There’s just something about the first day of work that gave him nervous energy, despite the fact that he had observed here before while working on his nursing degree.

Still, he took a deep breath and entered.

Silverstone was a small hospital, and the nurse behind the desk looked up when she heard Roman enter, a tight smile plastered across her face.

“New hire?”  
“Yeah.”

She pulled a namecard out and offered it to him. “Go to the breakroom, one of the nurses will probably help you set up a schedule.”

“Thanks.” Roman gave her a nod and clipped the namecard on, following his mental map to where he remembered the breakroom being from many long nights here.

All in all, being a nurse was not his first job choice. But after a brief stint attempting to make it in the world of entertainment, he had gone back to school to get a degree and at the age of twenty-four had graduated.

He made it to the break room. 

There was a doctor slumped over at one of the tables, and a few other nurses standing by a small kitchenette, all talking quietly as Roman walked in, almost immediately catching the attention of the group. They immediately waved him over.

“Hi! We heard that there was going to be a new wave today!” 

Roman nodded and stuck out a hand. “I’m Roman.”

The one who spoke shook it. “I’m Patton, Remy is to my right and Emile is next to him. Nice to meet you!”

“Same. I was told that someone would help me with my first shift?”

Remy smirked and set his drink down. “Yeah, you’re stuck with me, come on.”

…

Remy was loud, louder than Roman even. He showed Roman a few rooms before they walked up to the ICU.

“I really don’t pity you with this next guy.” Remy said as they turned down the hallway.

“Why?”

Remy sighed. “It’s a coma patient, and a John Doe, so we have no idea who he belongs to.”

“How’d he end up here?”

“A few months ago, some lady called dispatch because she found a body in the woods behind her place, turns out it was this guy. Really creepy. Anywho, we had someone come and run his fingerprints through the system and no dice, so now we just keep him here and wait.” 

Remy opened the door to one of the rooms and ushered Roman in.

“Em, you’re off, new guy is taking the next shift.”

The nurse who was sitting in a chair near the John looked up and nodded, before tiredly leaving.

Roman walked around the bed. The coma patient was about his age and Roman took a quick glance around the room.

“So I just sit here and make sure he doesn’t die?”  
“Yep, until your shift is over or he wakes up.”

“Cool.”

Easy. Roman sat down and Remy left, leaving him alone.

…

_ Don’t stop running. No matter what. This is the last time that I’ll be able to write, okay? Just don’t stop. They look for people like you, the ones that aren’t in any system, that have been raised in our communities. _

_ The freaks of the world. _

_ Run little one. _

_ And run Virgil does. He has been for a long time now, and the snow is cold against his bare feet as he flees deeper into the dark woods, not bothering to pay attention to where he is going, just as long as it is away. _

_ Part of him is grateful though. That the others can’t follow him, that they aren’t coming.  _

_ He falls. _

_ The cold wins. _

…

Roman wouldn’t say that his job was weird. Okay, it was a bit strange to spend most of his time watching to make sure the John Doe coma guy didn’t die, but it paid pretty well.

John Doe coma guy himself was pretty strange. He was also very pretty in- but Roman tried not to think about that, the chances of coma guy ever waking up were slim, not to mention the fact that Roman was very, hopelessly gay, and it was likely that coma guy was straight.

Still, he enjoyed his job, mostly the breaks, when he’d talk with one of the other nurses, even a few of the doctors, like the one that was passed out at a table the first day.

Turns out that was Janus and he had gotten out of performing a seventeen hour surgery Roman’s first day. He normally was a lot louder according to Patton, but Roman had yet to see the man as anything but tired, so the stereotype stuck. 

It was one of the duller days when everything went to shit.

…

For Roman, he was heading to watch coma guy when Patton rushed past him, walking quickly and grabbing Roman by the elbow.

“Come on!”  
“What’s going on?”

“There was a mall stampede due to someone firing a gun, we’re understaffed, and there’s people that are about to start pouring in.” Patton looked dead serious and so Roman followed, leaving behind his current patient in order to help.

He’d be fine.

Probably.

Unfortunately for Roman, life was hardly ever fair.

…

Virgil remembered running.

He remembered falling and everything going black.

So, how was he still alive?

He opened his eyes, going straight to panic, brain fully online. Something was wrong, why did he feel like he couldn’t move? Virgil tried to sit up, but couldn’t. 

Okay, that was bad. Virgil could feel his heart start to go faster, adrenaline pouring in and giving him enough strength to topple out of.. Wherever he was. Virgil didn’t recognize any of it and there was a sharp smell that he couldn’t quite place.

He landed on his face, getting tangled in small wires.

No.

This was bad, whoever put him here had put a net on the ground, the wires trapping him as he clawed at the ground.

“Woah!” 

Virgil flinched from the sound, and there was another sound of beeping. He thrashed and closed his eyes, trying to move.

“Doe is awake!”  
` “Today?!?” 

Virgil could hear them, but the faces were blurry. Stupid face blindness. He tried to move as hands pinned him down.

“Hey, calm down sir, we’re here to help.”

Virgil hissed and tried to move, but there were too many hands, too many wires.

“Do you have a name?”  
Virgil turned his head to the new face blur that had walked in, and nodded.

“Can we get it once you have some water?” Third person said and he nodded again.

“Great. We have to get you back into the bed okay? Quite the fall you had.”

“No.. no wires.”

The nice blur crouched down, gently putting a hand on his shoulder. “I’m sorry, but those wires are IVs and stuff keeping you alive. We’ll tell you what everything means okay?”

Virgil swallowed. “Okay.”

Nice blur murmured something to other blurs, and a moment later, he was being lifted and put back on the bed.

Nice blur left the room and Virgil felt a spike of panic as the other two began to carefully move around the room.

A moment later, Nice blur was back, with two people, which Virgil dubbed Red blur and Tall blur respectively.

“Hey, I’m back, and I brought a doctor, is that okay?”  
Virgil didn’t really know how to respond, and his throat felt sore, so he just looked away.

Nice blur shooed the first two blurs out as tall blur approached. “Hello, I understand that this is all confusing, but we are here to help. I’m Dr. Fau, and the two nurses that are currently here are Patton and Roman.

Both waved. Virgil furrowed his brow in confusion, which probably didn’t help.

Nice blur went to one of the sides of the bed. “Hey, we’re going to put an IV in you, it’ll make sure that you get the water you need.”

Virgil watched quietly as Nice blur fixed the wires, carefully untangling them, replacing them with new ones before feeding it back into a weird tube on his arm.

“There! Roman has some water for you, so you don’t tear up your throat talking.”

Virgil accepted the help from Red blur, who still held onto the glass.

“Thank you.”

“Of course!” Red blur sounded oddly loud and when he pulled back, Tall blur addressed Virgil.

“Can we please have your name?”

“Virgil..”

…

Roman watched as Janus’ eyes widened the smallest fraction. The doctor seemed surprised, and Virgil’s mismatched eyes were still wandering the room, barely focusing on any one thing for longer than a moment.

“Thank you Virgil. May I assume you don’t have a last name?”

“What’s that?”

Patton finished attaching everything and he went to stand next to Roman.

Virgil’s gaze slid over to them. “Did I say something wrong?”

Janus’ voice was impossibly soft. “No, you’re okay Virgil. May I ask you a few questions before we talk about health?”

“Okay…”

“Thank you Virgil. Can you tell me if you have heard of the Serpent’s Keep?”  
Roman looked over at Patton in confusion. Patton wasn’t looking at him, instead focused on Virgil.

“Yeah, they were my family.”

Janus flinched. “Thank you. Last question: did they have any special names for you? Or anything worth sharing?”

Virgil looked away and Roman noted the slight shake of the patient’s hands. “They called me the final.”

Janus nodded. “Thank you, we will be right back okay? Just some stuff we need to talk over.”

Janus then turned and gave Patton and Roman a look. Roman was still confused as Patton pulled him out.

Once the three of them were in the hall, Patton switched from looking happy to looking like he was about to kill someone and Janus looked terrified.

“I feel like there’s a disconnect between me and you guys.” Roman joked and Janus looked at him.

“Virgil’s a cult sacrifice.”

_ Oh. _

Roman paused. “Can we go back like fourteen steps? You lost me at cult.”

“Serpent’s Keep is the local cult- as in they frequent the surrounding area, although I thought that they were inactive… or at least moved out of state.” Janus trailed off and Roman slowly tried to connect dots.

“And you know so much about them because?”  
Patton interrupted before Janus could answer. “His parents were part of it, so by default, Janus was.”

“Oh.”

“I was eighteen when I left. About a year after they had announced that they had found a final.”

“What is a final?”

Janus looked away. “We need to go back in. And talking out here isn’t the safest.”

Roman wanted to be annoyed by the clear deflection of his question, but something in the doctor’s face was telling him to drop it. Janus opened the door to Virgil’s room and they went back in.

…

Virgil didn’t trust them. He listened half heartedly as Tall blur explained what a hospital was, using terms that he barely understood and also when he told him what a ‘coma’ was and that due to it, Virgil wouldn’t be able to walk for a while and that his muscles weren’t there.

Nice blur was kind though and he even gave him a hug before telling him that Red blur was going to stay behind for a bit, because that was his job.

And then Tall and Nice blur left, leaving him alone with Red.

Red sat down.

Virgil watched him, waiting for him to speak.

When nothing happened he nervously cleared his throat. “So.. read anything good lately?”

Red laughed. “Oh my god, you’ve been in a coma for half a year and that’s the first question you ask?”

Virgil pouted. “What else do you do when you’re bored?”  
“Watch Tv?”  
“What’s Tv?”

Red laughed again, although it sounded sad. “It’s moving photos, or theater that’s been saved. There’s a Tv on the wall right there.”

Virgil followed Red’s finger to the box on the wall. “Oh. There was a broken one of those behind my house.”

“Yeah, do you want it on?” Red stood and walked next to the TV, pressing it. Virgil watched, entranced as it flickered to life, colors splashing across it.

“Woah, that is pretty. How does it work?”  
Red laughed. “I’m not sure. Remy or Emile might know, but I don’t.”

Virgil tilted his head. “Huh.”

The rest of his time with Red was spent watching the moving photos, occasionally asking questions about what was going on.

Red also showed him a cell phone, which was easily the smallest contraption that Virgil had ever seen. He knew how a phone worked, but he’d never seen one without the chords.

After a few hours another person came in and Red stood. 

“I’ll see you tomorrow Virgil.”

“Okay.”

…

Roman was checking his texts as he changed from his scrubs to jeans. Patton had sent him an address to an apartment and so he drove over, surprised to see that the other nurse was waiting outside.

“Hey Pat.”

“Heyo Roman. Come inside?”

“Sure.”

Patton unlocked a door to a stairwell and together they went up the stairs to enter a small apartment on the second floor.

Janus was inside, drinking from a coffee mug and he gave Roman a nod in recognition.

“Cool, can you all tell me stuff now?”  
Patton sat down at the table. “It’s not really my story to tell.”

Roman joined him and a moment later, Janus also sat down.

“Serpent’s Keep is a religious group that believes that every decade or so, someone has to be sacrificed to keep time from stopping.”

“What?”

Janus sighed. “You wanted to know more about the cult, yes?”

“I do, but context would be nice!”

“What context do you need!?”

“How on earth were you part of a cult?”

Janus sighed again and Roman began to think that this probably wasn’t the best idea.

“My parents joined it, so I was a part of it. I explained that at the hospital. They’re psychotic, anyway, moving on, I left after the first sacrifice I saw.”

“They made you watch?”  
“Yeah, it was a big deal.”

“How are they not all arrested?” Roman yelped and Janus shrugged.

“If the person is willing, then I guess there’s nothing the police can do. Also, it’s only like once every twenty years.”

“So how does Mr. Coma guy have to do with this?”

“You can call him Virgil, Roman. It’s not like we don’t know his name anymore.” Patton said softly as he stood and left, going to the kitchen.

“Virgil called himself the final, which was a nickname given to the next one on the sacrifice list. I’m guessing he had no idea that he was next, probably ran when he found out.”

“Oh. So is he in danger?”

“No, they don’t go hunting for failures.” Janus said bitterly and Roman felt like there was something else that he was talking about.

“Okay… so we just need to make sure he gets better and then lives a normal life?”

“Basically!” Patton agreed as he reentered the room and set a mug of tea in front of Roman. 

“It’s going to be rough, chances of Virgil understanding any technology past electricity and cars are low, and the muscle atrophy is going to require years of therapy.”

Roman took a drink. “Well, I’ve always liked a challenge.”

…

Virgil didn’t recognize the nurse that came in the next morning. 

Until they spoke.

“How are you doing this fine morning?”

Virgil flinched. “Hi.”

“Didn’t remember me?” Red, who was now wearing green, sounded like he was smiling and Virgil shook his head.

“I can’t see faces.”

Red stopped and turned to Virgil. “Come again?”

Virgil dipped his head down nervously. “I can’t see people’s faces, it’s just blurry.”

“Can you see your face?”  
“No.”

Red made a nervous sound and he gently tilted Virgil face up. “So, you can’t see what I look like?”

“No.”

“Okay. I’m going to do some research after you head off to the physical therapy today. I think you might have face blindness, which is a shame.”

Virgil narrowed his eyes at Red. “How is that a shame?”  
“You can’t see my beautiful face of course!” Red said cheerfully as he moved away, going to sit in the chair.

“Whatever Princey.”

…

The next three months were probably the weirdest in his life. Just being part of the team that slowly watched Virgil recover.

Even though he had to announce himself to the guy every time he entered the room, since it turned out the Virgil did have face blindness, it did make it so that Roman could quietly observe him.

He really shouldn’t have gotten a crush. But Virgil was amazing. He introduced a completely new way of thinking and the fact that he was a clean slate from pop culture gave Roman the chance to educate him.

It led to a lot of after hours Disney marathons, with Roman bringing the weirdest foods that he could think of and Virgil being thoroughly disgusted by most of it.

It also led to the discovery that Virgil loved hot chocolate. Roman had brought in hot chocolate, coffee and a few different types of tea, determined to show him the glory of caffeine, and instead, Virgil had gone for the hot chocolate, excited by the idea that you could melt chocolate and drink it.

It was the four month mark that Janus said that Virgil was able to be released and continue to come back for physical therapy.

Which led to the fact that Virgil didn’t have anywhere to go.

…

Virgil watched as Roman paced the room, hands waving around as he described some convoluted plan.

“Ro.”

“What?”  
“I said I’d go. You’re my friend after all, I trust you. And I can get a job eventually, so that’ll be awesome. I’m so excited.”

“I have never heard of someone excited to get a job.”

“Try being raised in a cult your whole life and then waking up in the real world. You’d be looking for a change of pace too.”

“Fair enough.” Roman laughed and then sat on the end of Virgil’s hospital bed, one hand casually resting on Virgil’s knee.

It’s the quiet moments like these that make Virgil feel content, despite the confusion of his first weeks here and that he still had a hard time recognizing the other.

It was getting better, but without being able to really see Roman, he had to rely on body language and movement.

He was excited to finally get out.

…

Roman spread his arms. “It’s not much, but it’s mine.”

Virgil walked in a circle and Roman couldn’t help but fall in love again with the awe on his face as he took in the condo, eyes jumping from the couch to the table and then to the painting on the wall, complete curiosity in everything.

“It’s amazing. And it’s huge! What’s that painting mean? It looks so weird. Do you have a backyard? Can I use the stove? How thin are the walls?”  
Virgil turned to him and Roman thought that they made eye contact, before Virgil’s gaze slid upwards a bit to focus on a point above his head.

“Um, I just like the painting, there’s no meaning. There’s no backyard, you can use the stove, but it runs hot, and the walls are pretty thin.”

“So cool.” Virgil surged forward and gave Roman a hug. “Thank you so much.”

Roman gaped a bit before snapping his jaw shut, reciprocating the hug. “Of course. I could never turn you away.”

Virgil pulled back and grinned. “Sap.”

“Hey, you can’t use that word, I taught it to you.”

“I don’t know, I think it’s pretty poggers.”

“Virge…”

“I am an all powerful god made from the slang you taught me.”

Would it be redundant for Roman to admit that he had fallen?

…

Virgil was confused. It had been a month since he’d moved in, and while it was the best time that he had had in his short and depressing life, he was starting to feel conflicted about..

About everything.

Roman was amazing, and super calm when the random panic attacks set in and he had also helped Virgil get a job at a small shop that sold crystals and other knick knacks, a place where he didn’t have to worry about accidentally talking to the wrong person, and the rocks were cool.

Sure, it was hard to slowly claw himself back up to functioning, all while discovering new stuff that he’d never seen.

Like rollerblades, which he’d found under the bed in the guest room and Roman had proceeded to try to rollerblade in the parking lot of the condo’s complex, providing Virgil with enough entertainment to last for a long time.

But back to the confusion.

Roman just made him feel… happier. It was confusing, because when he occasionally saw Patton or Janus, he was happy, but not in the way that Roman made him feel.

He brought it up with his physical trainer one day. Logan was normally quiet, but today he had on a ring that Virgil didn’t recognize.

“It is an engagement ring.” Logan had said when he asked.

“Okay..” Virgil winced as his ankle bent, slowly lifting a weight that was attached to it.

“My fiance proposed a few days ago, I am sure you know of the custom.”

“A bit. Can you tell me about her?”

Logan shot a confused look at Virgil. “I’m marrying a man.”

Virgil really wished he could see Logan’s face, because he was sure that the look was priceless.

But that still overshadowed more questions.

“You can marry guys?”

“Yes? Virgil, many people are part of the LGBTQ community. It’s hardly abnormal.”

Virgil blinked. “So, you can like guys? That’s like a thing? I can like guys?”  
“Of course. I assumed that you were dating Roman.”

“Oh no, we’re just housemates.” Virgil could feel his face heat up and Logan made a small sound of disbelief.

“Alright then. You’re finished for the day. Be careful and see you next week.”

When he got home, he spent the rest of the day searching up terms and flags on the joint computer.

Maybe he did like Roman as more than a friend.

Huh.

…

“I think I’m gay.”

Roman choked on his popcorn and turned to look at Virgil, who wasn’t watching the movie, instead staring at the ceiling.

“Really?”

“Yeah.”

Roman turned down the volume of the TV so he could focus his full attention on Virgil. “What made you realize?”

“I was talking to Logan and he said that guys could like each other and I just realized that I like guys… I don’t know.”

“No, that’s great! It’s okay to be uncertain, I can help with anything. And if you are…” Roman trailed off and took some more popcorn.

“Princey, finish your sentence.” Virgil laughed and Roman grinned.

“Oh, I’ll buy you a flag and we can go to a pride festival when June swings around.”

“Really?”

“Really.” Roman promised.

And if after that, Virgil sat a bit closer during the movie? He pretended not to notice, instead focusing on his popcorn.

…

Virgil was going to do it. 

He pulled out a muffin tin while humming, trying to think of how to tell Roman. It had been almost nine months since he had woken up and at the last physical therapy session, he had asked Logan for advice for asking someone out.

Logan had given him a three ring binder of notes.

So now he was just making muffins.

Virgil was pretty sure that Roman was going to say no, after all, Roman wouldn’t want to date someone who couldn’t even see their face.

But it was worth a shot.

The door opened and Roman came sweeping in, with a random Disney song as he got some water from the sink.

“Hello Nightshade!”

Virgil nodded. “Hi. How was work?”

“Boring. Patton says hi.” Roman gave him a hug from behind, resting a chin on Virgil’s head as Virgil cracked eggs into the flour and began mixing.

“Cool. I’m making muffins.”

“Amazing.”

“Mmm.” Virgil agreed as he pulled the muffin pan closer, trying not to move too much so Roman wouldn’t break the hug.

They worked like that for a moment before Roman had to break away so that Virgil could put the muffins into the oven. Once he had done that, he turned to Roman.

“God, I wish I could see your face.”

“I wish that sometimes. That you could see faces. But it’s okay.” 

Virgil reached his hands up and placed them on the blur that was Roman’s face. “I’m sorry.”

“There’s no need to apologize.”

Virgil could feel tears of frustration pricking at his eyes. “I know, but I like you so damn much and I just want to be able to  _ see _ you.”

He could feel Roman’s breathing hitch. “You like me?”  
Virgil looked away. “Yeah?”

Roman let out a wheezing laugh. “Thank fuck.”

“What?”

“I like you too V, always have.”

Virgil was not expecting that. He dropped his hands and shuffled forward, pressing his head into Roman’s chest.

“We’re both idiots.” He sniffed and Roman’s arms wrapped around him.

“I know.”

**Author's Note:**

> kudos and comments please.
> 
> this was twenty pages long in a google doc. This is the most I've ever written for a one shot


End file.
